I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself: Saudi Marriages As Sites for Competing Governmentalities

Abstract

At this historical juncture, many unprecedented changes are happening in Saudi Arabia; from efforts to diversify the economy away from oil, to the introduction of new rights and opportunities for women, to significant reductions in the powers of religious authorities in public space and education, and the increased and widespread use of technology and social media tools by the population.

Accompanying these shifts are a sudden increase in divorce rates, which have become a concern for the state and individuals alike. In a February 2018 Saudi Gazette article described divorce as a force that “destabilizes families, the foundation of society” and “obstructs the Kingdom’s march to greater progress.” Quoting social consultant Mohammad Al-Amri, the article explains how rapid changes in recent years are altering the cultural landscape: “our families have been influenced by the new urban culture and modern information technology. Education and employment of women and the Kingdom's openness to foreign cultures were other factors that increased the divorce rate”. This is just one of many articles on divorce in the kingdom, popularized by media in recent years. Other common factors cited for divorce are social media, immaturity, underestimating marital duties, and erosion of family values: in another article, family coach and consultant Mohammed Dhaifullah Al-Qurani is quoted saying, “Divorce has increased when women have become loose-tongued, they get in and out the house whenever they wish, spend long hours on their mobile phones neglecting their household, husband, and family duties.”

My project builds on the assumption that these anxieties speak to a widespread crisis of governmentalities – it is as though Saudis felt that they no longer had a script by which to conduct themselves in their marriages. In defining “governmentality,” I invoke Foucault and his commentators who define “governmentality” as the “conduct of conduct,” or the practice of deliberately shaping different aspects of subject behavior to a particular set of norms. Governmentality can be exercised at different scales: state, institutions, family, and even the self, as its aim in modernity is to produce autonomous, self-governing individuals capable of regulating various aspects of their own conduct.

My research project seeks to understand how young, urbanized Saudi couples from the Eastern Province choose to conduct themselves as husbands and wives against this background of clashing governmentalities, and what anxieties and opportunities are created in this context. I am also interested in how these individuals draw on material and symbolic resources in order to cope with, negotiate, challenge, or transform these anxieties and opportunities towards having more fulfilling marital lives. My ethnographic fieldwork involved two main research activities: 1) participant observation at trainings and workshops given to soon-to-be-married or newly-weds on how to succeed at marital life, given by state-funded family development institutions, and 2) collection of life histories of 12 individuals (single and seeking marriage, divorced, or currently married; as well as marriage counsellors and professional matchmakers in Saudi Arabia).